You Gotta Live It Big Time!
by TreyChuck
Summary: Big Time Rush's boys are about to face some big time problems. Will these problems tear them apart or will they overcome all the obstacles that are thrown in their face. Story does have gay themes.
1. Big Time Confusion

_Why isn't this working?_, Carlos thought as he was staring into the computer screen. It wasn't a normal thing for him to do, masturbating that is. He watched as the two blonde girls performed a blow job on this quite good looking man but nothing was happening. He was soft. He wasn't aroused at all. "Well fuck it!" Carlos shouted forgetting that just in the next room was his band mate James. _It's 3am and I can't sleep, I am not hungry, and I can't get a boner, what gives!_, Carlos was now getting pretty angry with himself. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. Carlos Garcia moved the mouse to the address bar on the screen and deleted the website name "" and started to write "". Now with a nervous feeling in his gut he hit enter and to his surprise the sight of the naked men all over each other got him excited. He started feeling a bit uneasy about this _I am not gay,_ he started to think, _and this is just a little experiment_. So now that he convinced himself into being okay with his decision he clicked on one of the many videos. His eyes watched the two men have sex intensely. He wanted to feel what it was like to fuck someone, and not just anyone, he wanted to know what it was like to fuck a man. This was really starting to get to him. _Oh God this is so hot… I can't be really into this, can I? _As he was watching his penis started to get extremely hard. He decided that he might as well do something about it, everyone is asleep anyway. Grabbing his throbbing cock he started stroking it slowly. _This is so awesome,_ Carlos thought. Even with the volume off he was about to orgasm. He started moving his hand faster and faster with his mouth wide open moaning. _Shit! Shit! _"Ahh God!" and with that little outburst Carlos relieved himself all over his chest and stomach. _Man, now I have to clean this stuff up! _He got out of the chair and headed to his laundry basket full of dirty clothes and grabbed a shirt he wore a couple days ago and wiped himself clean of the mess he had made. _Okay now to never do that again…_, the boy thought as he but his green boxers on and hopped into bed. _Dear Lord, please help me with all this… this is the second time this week I have had to watch… uh… you know… gay porn. I never watch porn! What's wrong with me God? Anyway let the earth have peace and what not. Oh and I pray my mom and dad are happy and my brothers and sisters. OH! Of course Kendall, James, and Logan, let them all have a great day tomorrow. I love you! Night, _and after he prayed to God Carlos fell asleep soundly.

The next morning Carlos woke up and looked at his iHome alarm clock. "It's already 10am, damn no one woke me up at all?", Carlos said to himself. He went over to his closet and got a gray t-shirt off a hanger and pulled it over his head. Since he always hated the fact that boxers have that gap for the pee hole he opened his drawer where his basketball shorts were and pulled them on. _Now for breakfast!_, he thought with excitement. Practically running down the stairs and almost tripping over the last step Carlos burst into the kitchen just to be greeted by Kendall's mom or 'Mamma Knight' which is how he addresses her. "Good morning Mamma Knight!", Carlos said with even more excitement.

"Oh hello Carlos, and good morning to you to mister!", replied Jennifer, "I just finished some pancakes they are over there on the table."

"Where is everyone?", Carlos asked.

"Well Logan is in his room and Kendall and James just went out to the beach earlier this morning to hang out I guess. They said they'd be back by breakfast.", said Jennifer.

"Okay cool. They better get here though because I am going to tear this food up!", replied Carlos as he grabbed two pancakes and shoved them into his mouth. He then walked back up the stairs and down the hall to Logan's room and knocked twice before just bursting in. "Hey hey Logie baby!", he shouted.

Logan laughed a little before replying, "Carlos you are ridiculous", then he looked back at the computer screen.

"What'cha doin' big boy?", said Carlos.

"Oh I'm just doing some chemistry homework. I know I know you think I'm crazy for taking the class just for fun but it's really awesome!", Logan said trying to make Carlos a little interested in what he was saying.

"Well… I would never in a million years take something like chemistry for fun. That shit ain't fun", Carlos said laughing.

"Anyways, is breakfast almost ready? Don't lie to me either I can smell pancake on you dude", Logan said. Carlos started to notice how good looking Logan was.

"Uh… it's ready to eat bro", answered Carlos with a little crack in his voice. _This cannot be good._

The two raced down the stairs and pounced into the dining room chairs. Jennifer finished placing all the food on the table. There were pancakes, scrambled and fried eggs, sausage, bacon, doughnuts, bagels, and muffins. She really knew how to cook a meal. "Katie, breakfast is ready! You better get down here before the boys eat everything in sight!", shouted Jennifer . Moments later Katie, who was Kendall's ten year old sister appeared out of nowhere.

"Hi Logan. Hi Carlos.", Katie said full of joy which was weird since she was not a morning person.

"Hi!", Logan and Carlos said at the same time, "jinx!", both of the boys yelled also at the same time. Everyone in the room started laughing besides Katie who was beyond her years. Then the front door to the apartment opened and Kendall and James walked in.

"Well look at what we got here, the best damn breakfast I've ever seen!", announced Kendall who received a disapproving look from his mother.

"Thank you Kendall but please watch your words around your sister.", said Jennifer.

"Oh sorry", Kendall apologized.

After everyone was done eating Carlos headed to the shower to get ready for the day. The boys had the day off to do whatever they wanted and he wanted to clear his head and have some fun. Now that he got his shower out of the way he went to see what the others were up to. James was going to the mall to find a new outfit to wear on his date with a new girl he met. Kendall just left with his mom and sister to see a movie and Logan had no plans at all.

"So I guess we can hang out right?", Carlos asked Logan.

"Of course! It will be a Logan and Carlos day! This shit is going to be crazy.", Logan said.

Carlos was feeling butterflies in his stomach after Logan's statement. He also hated this. He did not want to like him. This was his best friend after all. Staring at his friend he couldn't help to think how handsome he thought Logan was. _Much more attractive than myself, _he thought.

"Alright, I got the keys. Let's get out of this place and rock this bitch of a day.", said Logan which was out of character for Logan. Carlos just smiled and slightly laughed at his friend's words and grabbed his wallet off the table and followed Logan out the door. _I have a feeling I am going to fall for this kid today. Fuck life. _


	2. Big Time Day Off

Logan and Carlos ran down the stairs of the apartment and out to the parking lot. The two got in Logan's car and headed out into LA. Carlos was fiddling with the radio trying to find a good song to listen to. "God, radio sucks ass these days", Carlos shouted.

"Well you can plug your iPod in if you want.", Logan replied to the shouting.

"Really!", Carlos said with way too much excitement. His friends hated when he played his iPod in the car, he always played music that they just weren't very interested in. "Okay, but I know that you hate Drake, Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, and Britney Spears… so I will..", Carlos said before Logan interrupted him.

"Wait did you just say… Britney Spears?", Logan asked while raising his eyebrow.

"Fuck you", Carlos said, "I love her, she's an icon."

"Yeah she's cool but can we listen to Sleigh Bells or Matchbox Twenty? I am not feeling Britney or rap shit dude", Logan asked his friend hoping it wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"Yeah sure.", said Carlos.

With the windows rolled down and the music blasting Logan and Carlos drove around for about fifteen minutes before Logan turned down the music and asked, "Carlos… what are we doing?"

Carlos heart started to beat really fast and it felt like it was going to explode. _What does he mean? Like… is he asking about… us? Does he feel the same way? _Logan just stared at Carlos who was starting to look a little sick.

"Hey buddy are you okay?", Logan asked.

"Yeah I am totally fine. What exactly do you me… what are we doing?", Carlos asked nervously praying Logan would mention the feelings he felt for him or something to that nature.

"Uh.. like what are we doing today bro.", Logan said a little confused as to why that was such a hard question to understand.

"Oh! Let's go to the park and get a hot dog!", Carlos said almost demandingly.

"Okay! We are going to the park!", Logan blurted.

Once they reached the park Carlos ran straight to the hot dog vender and got four hot dogs with ketchup and mustard. Logan wasn't a huge hot dog fan so he just got one and got a Dr. Pepper to drink. Carlos loved being at the park and swinging, sliding, climbing, and just having a good innocent time. While swinging together Carlos couldn't take his eyes off of Logan. _He is just so beautiful. His darling smile, his brown eyes, and that great skin. _Logan started to notice the stares but didn't say anything. He always thought that Carlos was just different so he just decided to ignore it.

The sun finally disappeared and the kids all went home. Logan and Carlos became quite silent. They could hear the bugs chirp and the trees crack. Logan was still swinging but Carlos had stopped. He couldn't take it anymore. _Why am I like this? Logan is one of my best friends. I just have to ignore this. I can do this. I can ignore this. _So after these thoughts that ran through Carlos's head he got off the swing and started to walk to the playground that was modeled to look like a train. Logan suddenly stopped swinging and started watching Carlos walking towards the playground. He didn't get it. He wondered why he was acting like this. Carlos was not being himself at all.

Once Carlos got to the playground he sat in one of the cars of the fake train and just stared at the stars that were starting to come out. Logan stood up and walked over to where his friend was. "Hey, can you just tell me what is wrong with you bud… I am starting to get worried…", Logan said with concern.

"It's nothing…", Carlos lied. Logan didn't like that answer. He was the type of person that loved to know everything and not knowing what was wrong with his friend was going to give him hell.

"Carlos Garcia, you better tell me what's fucking wrong with you or I swear I will…", Logan said before Carlos stood up facing Logan with so much intensity it could have made him fall over. He was actually starting to feel a little scared while looking into his friend's eyes. Then he saw the confusion in Carlos's eyes and the sadness. Logan wanted to smack himself to for not noticing this sooner; he could always read people so well. Their faces were only an inch away from each other now. Carlos could taste Logan's breathe. _This is it. I am about to do the bravest thing I have ever done in my whole life._ With this thought Carlos made that inch disappear and leaned in to touch his lips against Logan's. Logan's lips were so soft and moist. Carlos slipped his tongue in Logan's mouth without thinking. For the next ten seconds Carlos kissed the boy of this dreams until he realized that this wasn't a dream this was real and he ripped his face away from Logan's and was terrified of what Logan's reaction would be.


	3. Big Time Homophobe

Staring at Logan in shock of what had just occurred Carlos could not speak. He just stared. Logan did not swing at him or say anything; he just stared back at Carlos. Then out of nowhere Logan said, "So… you like me or something?"

"Uh…", Carlos started to say as tears began to develop in his eyes, "Can we just forget this ever happened?"

"Uh… yeah I guess. Do you want to talk about it Carlos?", asked Logan.

"No. I think its best that I take the bus home and you drive the car by yourself", said Carlos without looking at Logan.

"Are you kidding me? You are not taking the bus home. Why won't you just fucking talk to me about this? If you're ga…", Logan got instantly interrupted before finishing his sentence.

"I'm not dude like shut the hell up!", Carlos screamed at Logan. As he heard himself say this he started to feel bad and before he could apologize Logan started to walk off.

"Fine, whatever I will drive my car home without you and you can take the damn bus", Logan said in almost a whisper. Carlos was noticing that Logan was starting to get upset and he hated that he was the reason. Taking the bus home was a disaster, Carlos sat by an old lady named Norma who just went on and on about him being her favorite in Big Time Rush. He was trying not to draw attention to himself but it was already too late. He signed autographs for everyone on the bus and got off three blocks away from the bus stop in front of his apartment. As he walked all he could think about was that kiss between Logan and himself. _His lips were perfect_. _He can't be gay though… since he didn't want me like that… I hate myself. _Finally he broke down when he got to the apartment door and decided to stay on the entryway and cry for a minute.

Carlos wiped his tears from his cheeks and stumbled into the apartment. To his surprise Logan wasn't even home yet. He looked in the living room to see Kendall sitting on the red sofa watching some cooking show.

Kendall felt like someone was behind him and looked over his shoulder and when he saw his friend Carlos he shouted, "Hey! Get in here this shit they are cooking looks bomb as hell!"

Carlos smiled and slowly walked over to the sofa and sat by Kendall. Kendall was starting to notice that Carlos wasn't being himself at all. He looked at him and asked, "Bro, what's on your mind? You look like you just got broken up with."

Now Carlos felt like total shit he looked at Kendall and couldn't even get a breath out. He tried to stop the tears from coming out but they were just too strong, his emotions were running haywire. Kendall almost gasped when Carlos burst into tears not expecting it at all. He didn't know what to do. He tried to console Carlos when James walked in.

"Hey what are you faggots up to?", James asked Carlos and Kendall. Carlos's face was starting to feel like it was on fire. He started to sweat and felt sick. James looked at Kendall and Carlos and asked, "Okay, so I'm guessing Carlos has an STD?" and with that comment Carlos stood up and punched James in the face.

"Don't you ever call me a fucking faggot, you understand me!", yelled Carlos who was standing over James.

"What the hell!", said the confused James who's nose was starting to bleed. Carlos just left the room and headed up to his room and slammed the door. He could not believe what had just happened. Throwing himself on his bed he buried his face in the pillow and screamed.

Back downstairs Kendall helped James up and gave him some paper towels to clean his nose. "What the hell happened to him Kendall? Dammit this one of my favorite shirts too!", James said to Kendall.

"I honestly don't know James. He got home and I asked him to watch that cooking show with me and he just started crying. Then here comes you calling us fags.", Kendall replied giving James a look of disgust.

"Well you know I was fucking joking. I know both of you like the pussy. I mean I wouldn't hang with either of you if you didn't", said James.

"Oh, so if I were gay you'd just drop me?", Kendall asked.

"Dude, I'd drop you and quit the band. That shit is not natural. I do not support homos.", James replied.

"Well now you've pissed me off dude. You deserved that hit to the face, night.", Kendall said with repulsion. He wasn't gay but that made him sick, he hated when people disliked anyone that was different. His mother had many gay friends and even one of his favorite cousins was gay. Kendall walked into Carlos room and saw him trying to go to sleep. He then said to Carlos, "Hey dude if you ever want to talk about what's bothering you, I'm here for you." Carlos just nodded and Kendall went to his room hoping that everything would be okay in the morning.

Logan had been thinking for about two hours in the 24 hour diner until he decided to call Camille who was one of his closest friends and old love interest. "Hello", Camille said in a tired voice, she must have been asleep Logan thought.

"Uh… hey Camille it's Logan. Can you meet me at the Rock N Diner?" he asked hoping she wasn't in a dramatic mood.

"You do realize it is eleven o'clock, right?", she asked.

"Yes I do! But I need to talk to someone.", Logan pleaded.

"Okay I'm coming then.", she gave in to him almost every time.

Camille walked into the diner and was greeted by the hostess and told her she was meeting a friend. She sat across from Logan and said, "Okay pretty boy, speak."

"Well… I feel weird.", Logan said.

"Oh, okay elaborate." Camille said slightly annoyed.

"Okay please promise you won't repeat anything I say to anyone.", Logan said with his voice shaking.

Camille looked at him with worried eyes. "Okay I promise Logan, did you break a law?", she promised and asked.

"No", Logan said with a laugh, "nothing like that." Camille smiled with relief. "Okay today we all had the day off", he started to tell the story to Camille.

"You mean you and the boys", Camille asked.

"Yes and Carlos and I hung out and stuff. We had a lot of fun until… well…", Logan couldn't find the words to finish his sentence. Camille looked at him intensely which always made Logan nervous.

"What happened Logan?", Camille asked nervously.

"He kissed me Camille.", Logan blurted out.

Camille just sat there with a puzzled look on her face. "He kissed you? Like romantically?", she asked.

"Yes.", Logan said looking down at the table. Before Camille could say anything they were interrupted by the waitress asking Camille if she wanted anything. She just asked for a water and the waitress rushed back to the kitchen area.

"Okay, so what happened after the kiss?", Camille said still gazing at Logan intensely.

"He said he wasn't gay when I asked and rode the bus home and I ended up here. Camille… I liked it.", Logan sad.

Camille just stared at Logan. She looked shocked. "You liked it? Like you think you are gay?", she asked.

"I don't know about gay but when he kissed me it was like the best kiss I've ever had. He was so… perfect. Oh man, I think I like… Carlos", confessed Logan. He looked up at Camille and saw her looking out the window then she turned to him and started to speak.

"Well, you know I kind of thought you were gay. I mean we never worked out.", she said in a low voice.

"Camille, I'm sorry.", Logan said with his voice cracking. He really did care for her but he'd never use the word love for how he felt about her.

"It's okay Logan, I am not mad at you. You need to be who you are, if that's being gay then that is okay with me. But you do need to talk to Carlos about this, he's obviously struggling with it", she said to Logan with caring eyes.

"I will try", he replied.


	4. Big Time Blow Job

Logan opened the door to the apartment and saw James wearing a bloody shirt. "Uh… what the hell happened to you?"

"Oh you know… I called Carlos a fag and he punched the shit out of me", answered James.

"…okay", said Logan in a rude manner. He obviously felt awkward now hearing one of his best friends say fag and also having feelings for another man. "Well… where is everyone?"

"Kendall is in his room, pissed at me. Carlos is asleep from what I understand, also pissed at me. Kendall's mom and sis went to visit his grandma for the week.", replied James.

Without saying anything Logan went towards the stairs and then froze. He saw Carlos at the top and they just stared at each other. Carlos motioned at him to come up. There was no hesitation for Logan as he darted up the stairs and in one swift motion they began to make out as passionate as ever. Carlos lifted Logan into the air while still locking their lips and took him into his room. He threw the boy onto his bed and lick his lips.

Logan was nervous. He thought that Carlos' actions were extremely hot but also quite terrifying. He watched as Carlos got closer to him and the bed. His eyes were locked onto Carlos as the boy slowly took his shirt off to reveal his hairless body besides a perfectly shaped happy trail leading to a prize Logan especially wanted. Logan couldn't help himself but to reach his hand to touch Carlos' chest and slowly take it down to his stomach.

Once at the top of Carlos' jeans Carlos grabbed Logan's hand and stared directly into his eyes. "I like you so much Logan that it hurts. Today made me realize it… and I'm scared… how are we suppose to make this work?", Carlos said hoping the intelligent boy had a good answer.

"Shh…", Logan whispered. "Let's just not think or talk. Let's just have some fun."

Logan slipped his hand into Carlos pants and finally touched his cock. It was warm and he could feel it getting harder in his grasp. He pulled it out and by the time he did it was at its full 8 inches. Carlos was looking down at Logan smiling then Logan opened his mouth and put the head of Carlos' cock into his mouth. He started to suck Carlos off really good and Carlos started to moan and throw his head back when all the sudden the door opened.

Logan immediately jumped up and yelped. Carlos stood there with his dick out looking at Kendall scared to death.

"Umm… this is different", said Kendall.

"It's not what it looks like!", Carlos shouted thinking this would fix everything.

"Yes it is…", said Logan.

"Wow… okay this is just… awkward as fuck", said Kendall, "what… what is going on?"

"Obviously I was just sucking Carlos' dick", said Logan.

"I can see that! Why? Are you guys secretly dating because if you are I will be pissed! Pissed that I didn't know!", said Kendall.

"No… we are not dating. We are trying to figure this all out and it just got heated", Logan replied to Kendall.

Carlos was feeling really upset and just suddenly punched the wall. "I need everyone the fuck out!", he shouted. Kendall and Logan just looked at the ground. "NOW! Right fucking now!", he shouted again.

"Carlos…. Please…", said Logan in a very low voice.

"Just please get out…", Carlos said in almost a cry.

Kendall and Logan left without saying a word. They both walked into to Kendall's room and just sat on the bed. "Well… this is nuts", Kendall said.

Beginning to cry Logan said, "I know… I'm just going to go to bed okay Ken…"

"Okay, talk to you tomorrow bro. Sleep well.", Kendall said.

Logan left the room and Kendall fell back onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He wondered where this was all going to go. He wanted to know everything was going to be okay. He needed everything to be alright for them. The band. Their friendship.


End file.
